skonen_blades (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
skonen_blades) wrote2007-12-31 05:20 pm
skonen_blades) wrote2007-12-31 05:20 pm
Contract
This is a locked room.
Terms and conditions apply. There are stacks of contracts here, all of them signed in blood, a disturbingly high percentage of them marked with a big, red letter X. One doesn’t need to be able to read to make a mark.
There are tricky logistics involved in keeping paper records safe in a dimension known primarily for fire. An organization that has been operating since the dawn of cognizance has a lot of records to contend with.
It’s a paper trail that can’t be traced.
There are stacks of parchment here. A wing for stone tablets. A few rooms containing bark. There are mile high stacks of cheaply made photocopier paper, bound together and alphabetized by the damned.
It’s the latest room that has the devil smiling, though. It’s the new storage wing that came online in the early nineties. It’s empty except for a hard drive that isn’t full yet, not even after ten years. There are millions of .docs stored on it.
A new clause has been invented. It states that if the signer of the contract promises to sign in blood once they are at the threshold of Hell, they can forgo the actual blood signing at the time of the contract acceptance.
This makes it possible for the devil to reach out online.
He’s slipped contracts into the privacy term agreements of several large internet companies without their knowledge. Over seven thousand lawyers from Hell have managed to boil the essence of the standard contract down to an airtight paragraph of generalities.
No one reads those things anyway.
tags
Terms and conditions apply. There are stacks of contracts here, all of them signed in blood, a disturbingly high percentage of them marked with a big, red letter X. One doesn’t need to be able to read to make a mark.
There are tricky logistics involved in keeping paper records safe in a dimension known primarily for fire. An organization that has been operating since the dawn of cognizance has a lot of records to contend with.
It’s a paper trail that can’t be traced.
There are stacks of parchment here. A wing for stone tablets. A few rooms containing bark. There are mile high stacks of cheaply made photocopier paper, bound together and alphabetized by the damned.
It’s the latest room that has the devil smiling, though. It’s the new storage wing that came online in the early nineties. It’s empty except for a hard drive that isn’t full yet, not even after ten years. There are millions of .docs stored on it.
A new clause has been invented. It states that if the signer of the contract promises to sign in blood once they are at the threshold of Hell, they can forgo the actual blood signing at the time of the contract acceptance.
This makes it possible for the devil to reach out online.
He’s slipped contracts into the privacy term agreements of several large internet companies without their knowledge. Over seven thousand lawyers from Hell have managed to boil the essence of the standard contract down to an airtight paragraph of generalities.
No one reads those things anyway.
tags