skonen_blades

may 28th 2023 - a day at the races 07 - It's In Command

2023-06-06T21:06:11Z

may 28th 2023 - a day at the races 06 - star finality

2023-06-06T21:04:05Z

There's an event called A Day at the Races where poets go to the horse races and they each pick a horse name at random from each of the seven races and then use that name as a prompt for a poem. At the end of the day, we read out the 'winning' poem from each race and then whatever other poems we think turned out pretty good. It's a fun day.

This is poem 06 from race 06 and my horse's name was Star Finality. It got me thinking about the terminology we use for fame and how the life cycle of a star might have a similarity to an artist's career.

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The big bang breakout role
The number one single after years of obscurity

The life of touring, of excess
This, the life cycle of a star,
is not a cycle
It’s a parabola
A trajectory with an impact at the end
like an artillery shell

The supernova of success
shedding so much light and fury,
sound and sweat

The thing about stars is that light moves too fast
Stars die a long time before we see them go out
Not counting the ones we wish on as they fall

A star’s finality
isn’t the same grave finish line for the rest of us

It’s a collapse into something that sucks in light
Hungry for those with ambition and potential
Waiting for them to blow up on the star charts

To flare their energy
into the cold
uncaring
void

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may 28th 2023 - a day at the races 05 - florida gator

2023-06-06T21:02:07Z

may 28th 2023 - a day at the races 04 - apellant

2023-06-06T21:00:39Z

There's an event called A Day at the Races where poets go to the horse races and they each pick a horse name at random from each of the seven races and then use that name as a prompt for a poem. At the end of the day, we read out the 'winning' poem from each race and then whatever other poems we think turned out pretty good. It's a fun day.

This is poem 04 from race 04 and my horse's name was Apellant. My horse won! Apparently, the world 'apellant' means the person in court who is the defendant when making an appeal. However, I took it to mean the opposite of 'repellant' just for the sake of this poem.

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Apellent is the opposite of repellent
A black hole
pulling every pair of eyes,
every heart
past the event horizon.

Apellently, he walked through the party
A gravity well for lust,
for dreams,
for love,
for hope.

Igniting visions of marriage, children, suburban life in some
A cheap motel Olympic event in others

Shark apellent bring all the sharks at top speed

Apellents can slide under doors,
through paper cuts,
and in between praying hands

Apellents took my money
Apellents brought me joy
Apellents become mist when put in a cage
Apellents twist sideways and disappear
Apellents are always visiting and never staying

Oh, apellent
Take me with you
Give me a passport to travel to your dimension
Disguise me to smuggle me to your homeland
(Not permanently. Never permanently.)

Show my how you exist
because I can’t comprehend
with my awkward grease stains

Looking across the room at you,
I’m glad you never travel in packs.
Because if you did,
I would throw myself under your hooves
just to be part of the herd.

But you always glide alone
Like a sightseeing missile
Making us all yearn to dress as targets

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may 28th 2023 - a day at the races 03 - Tam Tricky

2023-06-06T20:58:33Z

There's an event called A Day at the Races where poets go to the horse races and they each pick a horse name at random from each of the seven races and then use that name as a prompt for a poem. At the end of the day, we read out the 'winning' poem from each race and then whatever other poems we think turned out pretty good. It's a fun day.

This is poem 03 from race 03 and my horse's name was Tam Tricky. He came in first! My father's name was Tam and he grew up in the violent streets of Glasgow (gang member, bouncer, military policeman) before emigrating to Canada with his first wife and three daughters and the moving to Toronto and meeting my mom. I always found my dad pretty fascinating and his ability to break the cycle of violence with my brother and I is something I'll always admire.

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Tam tricky

Found his way through the maze

Tam clever
Tam strong

The gutter’s hand slipped off his greased spine
His father’s fists only molding his clay
until he could fight back
and become his own potter

Tam long

Bird bones stork long but steel strong

Tam traveler
Tam gardener

Five children
Two wives
Citizenship in two countries

Tam resting
Tam never gone
Tam bus driver
Tam glazer
Tam human church
Tam holy memory

Tam throw me
(light javelin son)

Into the deep
unknowable
future

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may 28th 2023 - a day at the races 02 - champiosa

2023-06-06T20:55:29Z

May 28th 2023 - a day at the races 01 - Monte

2023-06-06T20:53:31Z

Birthday poem for April

2023-06-06T20:47:36Z

My friend April recently had a birthday. This is a poem I wrote for her.

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The Ship of Theseus theorem asks the question: if a ship has been at sea for so long that every single piece of it has been broken and replaced or repaired to the point that there is no single part of the ship that is still there from its original construction, is it still the same ship?

I argue that it is.

Kintsugi is the Japanese practice of repairing broken pottery by using gold power in the repair material when it’s mended, turning the cracks a brilliant shine of veins, creating something unique and beautiful out of something that was shattered.

April

You have been broken and repaired so many times that you are now solid gold, shining for the rest of us.

You are still you
But you are also something new

I love you
We love you

Happy birthday.

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2023 - 30/30 - do you wanna buy a bear trap

2023-06-06T20:46:41Z

There’s these bear-trap heart protectors, see?
Just snipping off hands and feet all over.
Give you a good deal on ‘em.
Or you could get a bear-proof garbage can.
Put your heart in there and pow, safe as houses
‘Course, you do have to worry about the overlap
Between the smartest bears and the dumbest campers
And the idea that your heart is literally garbage
That’s why it’s cheaper

I mean, sure, sure,
You could put your heart in a bank, sure
A big ol’ vault or safety deposit box
Bears don’t use financial institutions
But who’d ever see it? Just you, once a year?
Not a big return on unused hearts, I hear
It’d just be gathering dust,
Waiting to be given to your next of kin one day or whatever
Sure, it makes it seem more valuable but…

Nah, mate
You need to get your heart out and about
On excursions, like. Hikes.
Higher risk of bears but a better risk of living
I could give you a deal on an invisibility cloak or a ghost charm
But that would make your heart hard to find
For anyone, not just bears

A bullet proof vest, you ask?
What, you think bears use guns?
Nah, mate.
Might as well roll yourself in berries
And serve yourself on a platter
And I can see you’ve got a few claw scars already

You could try only loving during the winter
While the bears are asleep
But it’s cold out there and there’s not too many people then
And that many layers are a hassle to get in and out of

Looking at you, I think the best bet
Might be bear spray
Just make sure this part here is always facing
away from your eyes
Or else you’ll only hurt yourself
And maybe go blind
And cry for days
But that’ll be $4.99
Cash, credit or debit.
Good luck

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2023 - 29/30 - don't let it win

2023-06-06T20:45:46Z

A person doesn't know what they don't know
and they can't feel what they don't feel.
Imagination and empathy bridge the gap
but what if a person doesn't have those?

That person closes a fist around their certainty,
resolute that they are feeling to the limit
and that their knowledge is enough

Most of us are like this

It’s not just ego or arrogance
It’s a dangerous lack of capability
Invisible in the mirror
What’s the shape of that absence?
If we think it never went missing?

It results mostly in a benign ignorance
But sometimes

It surfaces in conspiracy
Bias beneath the mask
Easily tipped to participation
In a thousand small ways
As others hold the rope
Or sign the bill
Or pull the trigger
It's not a slide into darkness
It's a climb with very small
and easy
steps.

Try to explore what isn’t
Try to feel what you haven’t
Try to know what you don’t
Above all, don’t trust certainty

If there's one thing history teaches us,
it’s that a monster hides inside us all.
Justifications at the ready.
Camouflaged in confidence.
Waiting for the eclipse.
For the sun to go dark.
So it can climb those small and easy steps

I implore you.
Learn.
Feel.
Don't let it win.

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2023 - 28/30 - Ghost Meat

2023-06-06T20:40:12Z

Fragile, temporary husk

That I feed and drive and exercise
That I inhabit
That is somehow also me

How limited
But how celebrated

Would that I could travel the universe
Read minds
Change my form at will
Survive without food
Never end

How brief
But how valued

The two of us
The observer and the observed
Welded together
Concurrent
Occupying (impossibly) the same space

Ghost-infused meat
Wondering

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2023 - 27/30 - Tuning Forks

2023-06-06T20:39:38Z

We're all tuning forks.
Input pinging us every second we're awake
and sometimes even in dreams when we're asleep.

We resonate constantly,
causing what is like us
to hum in others.
This is the song of the world.

We can muffle our sound,
wrap ourselves in insulation.
But can we change our key?
Can our tune be altered?
Without being broken?

We sing when we're hit
and life hits us all every morning.

Listen.
Listen.
Listen to the world.

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2023 - 26/30 - Gone

2023-06-06T20:38:24Z

It’s astounding to me that someone
That took up so much space
Can be gone
And then, years later,
Still be gone

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2023 - 25/30 - weapon of choice

2023-06-06T20:37:41Z

Consciousness, oh consciousness
You shiny, bright mistake
Look at the destruction wrought
By choices that we make

Oh, what a day in Eden when
That lady chose to choose
The possibility of choice
We now wield and abuse

We never should have had this dark
Responsibility
I think God’s anger might have had
Some rationality

You wouldn’t put a pig behind
A bus’s steering wheel
Or let a panda pilot planes
Or arm a baby seal

All we’ve done is live too fast
And burn too bright too soon
Ignite. Exhaust. Use up. Suck dry.
Pollute. Defile. Consume.

And if, by chance, we do some good
It goes right to our head
“My gosh we’re so amazing!” say
The Shakespeares as we spread

Our egos fuel the hubrises.
We’re gas tanks for mistakes.
In engines of stupidity
That run on Eden’s snakes

But fingers crossed we choose to win
By losing all our gains
And “sharing all with all” becomes
The one choice that remains

I’m pretty sure the gift of choice
Has driven our race mad
But possibly, just possibly
It needn’t be so bad

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2023 - 24/30 - Quantum Parenthood

2023-06-06T20:36:55Z

Daughter

I’ve heard it said that
An easy way to understand
quantum entanglement theory
Is through a pair of socks.

If you put one sock on your left foot,
The other sock becomes the ‘right’ sock
No matter where it is in the universe

When you were born
And we observed you for the first time
I was redefined instantly
Collapsed into a different state
As the probability of you
Became a certainty

Which is to say

Because you exist
No matter where we are in the universe
I will be your father

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2023 - 23/30 - A Little Off the Top

2023-06-06T20:36:04Z

A basketball team of guillotines
Three-pointing aristocrat heads
Into baskets
Mea culpa runneth over
The court is soaked with scarlet
Well-read and well-traveled
A reign of blood is just beginning
And Noah says,
“We’re going to need a bigger boat”
We build our character arcs
To save ourselves
Putting two of every currency
Into the bonfire
I think that I shall never see
A poem as ugly as a clearcut
The cancerous growth
Of economy
Needs a cure we don’t have
But I think
Like a barber
We could cut a little off the top

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2023 - 22/30 - Worried About Us

2023-06-06T20:35:08Z

The struggle is eternal.
If it’s not mental, it’s emotional.
If it’s not emotional, it’s spiritual.
If it’s not spiritual, it’s physical.
If it’s not physical, it’s financial.
If it’s not financial, it’s moral.
Round and round.
Over and over.
It feels like the rules are simple.
But it’s the obeying that’s complex.
I feel like we’re getting far too used
To far too much far too quickly
And I think sometimes
That there's a darkness
Inside all of us
That's too easily awakened
Too easily manipulated
A selfishness
That makes us the main character
Wilts our compassion
Enables us to blunt awareness
And fluff up our denial
Makes our eyes willfully blind
To book burnings
Sometimes it's the horror of life
The cruel indifference of the world
That coffins our empathy
But usually it's a whisper
From some dark lord
Some walking advertisement
Some human drug
Cocooning us in self assurance
And shallow certainty
You need to keep your eyes open
But it’s getting late
And people go to sleep in the dark
Maybe I’m just old
Maybe I’m yelling at clouds
Maybe it only feels fast because I’m slowing down
But I’m worried about us

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2023 - 21/30 - Snowflake Haiku

2023-06-06T20:34:11Z

Spring rain melts snow.
Ending Winter. This is why
Snowflakes hate rainbows.

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2023 - 20/30 - Mi Casa

2023-06-06T20:30:02Z

Mi casa su casa
Me topia utopia
Which topia?
Dystopia.
A topiary of topias
Chia Pet societies
A society in the bush
Is better than two
In a billionaire’s hand
Nuking the site from orbit
Is the only way to be sure
To use two stones
To kill one bird
I think, therefore I am tired
Sometimes you miss one hundred percent
Of the shots you do take
Yesterday I tried to live in the now
Tomorrow I think I’ll be able to live there
Today I’m busy
We build the bridge as we cross the chasm
But we never get to the other side
Sisyphus disassociates
My anesthetic is topical
Blissfully unaware of ignorance
Rare but not special
Unique but not amazing
Always repeating but never the same
Mi casa sues for peace
My utopia is lower case
And welcome
Welcome

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2023 - 19/30 - Cocoon

2023-06-06T20:27:35Z

When opening the door to the outside world
Means a broken dam of input
Enough to flood a farmland
That would drown the city of your mind

When the sunlit windows scream at your eyes
Become warning-sign billboards
Threatening the terrifying interactions
Involved with going outside

When the screens to the internet gush fire-hose dark
With pressure that can strip flesh off of bones
and kill all hope

When the future holds no promise
And the present isn’t so great either
And you can only speak in danger

When the cocoon feels like the best place
Not the safest place
Just the least dangerous place

Remember that our translation of reality
Has never been accurate
We’re great at recognizing patterns and assessing threats
But in this non-caveman existence
Of day jobs and apartments
We end up seeing patterns and perceiving threats
That may or may not be present

We’re all delusional by default
It’s how we survive
But sometimes we survive too hard

It’s cold comfort to know we’re all in this together
(To varying degrees)
But that can be like cold pizza
Which is to say
Better than nothing
When you feel like thick liquid in a chrysalis
Waiting to be born again

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2023 - 18/30 - The us we left behind

2023-06-06T20:26:22Z

It was dark in the cabin
Romantic
Just the two of us
The only light was coming from the fireplace
She asked me to put another log on the fire
I reached out and patted around in the shadows
Grabbed my wooden heart by accident
And threw it in
Along with my Pinocchio strings,
Paper-thin hopes,
My kindling future plans,
Gasoline dreams,
That picture of us at our most in love,
Six winning poker hands,
And since I'd just graduated from university,
I bet my doctorate and masters,
And raised the fire two degrees.
Also, the wet sock of my conscience
Which filled the room with smoke.
At first, we burned with desire
But then we just burned
Even though we went our separate ways
Our bones are still up there
Two silver skeletons
Dipped in moonlight past
Embracing
Clinking teeth and clattering hips
Naively
Blessedly
Unaware that we left

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2023 - 17/30 - Island

2023-06-06T20:25:15Z

All these burnt bridges
Have left you on an island
Somehow surprised at the turn of the events
And you’ve never been much of a swimmer

They say no person is an island
You’re relatively sure islands don’t sink
But while you’re not 100% on that
You do know people sink just fine

Survival is possible
Castaway-style
A Gilligan’s island one-man show
But it’s going to be hard
First, you’ll need sustenance
And shelter
Because no one else will give it to you

Eventually

You’ll need a signal fire
To ask for help if someone looks

Or you’ll need to build a raft
An new way to do things
For the uncharted waters

Or learn some engineering skills
To try to build
A new bridge

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2023 - 16/30 - Backstage Wish

2023-06-06T20:23:25Z

Spotlight
Stage Fright
First show that I do tonight
Help me project what I recite
And keep the audience polite

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2023 - 15/30 - on trusting your gut

2023-06-06T20:22:52Z

They say to always trust your gut

I picture that hideous being
Slithering like a boneless crow
Mucusing eel-moist
Through its office in my stomach
This itching, infected, raw, cyborg beast
Fed by a periscope
Of a media flood it doesn’t understand
Broken radar firing like a machine gun
Having the nerve to call itself intuition
Eyes lighthouse owling,
Swiveling and greedy for any scrap of input
To gulp into its hindbrain-mind
Like a jerking, slobbering calf at an udder
Shaking the clumped, wet locks of its judge’s wig
Muttering of threats and ego
A litany of gibbering brought on by isolation
Speaking in suspicion and side-eye
Wringing its cold, damp hands and cackling
A bloated spider in a cavern
A selfish, fearful, ignorant, repulsive idiot
Continually drunk on worry and high on tension
Slapping the panic button like a bongo drum
Wary of all who it sees as different
Which is almost everyone
Omniphobic and baselessly prejudiced
This Neolithic, squirrel-brained, anxiety-drenched tumour
Capable of generating the worst conclusions possible
And sending them all stamped URGENT
To my center of operations

Why did biology give this subhuman beast a loudspeaker?
A bullhorn with access to my mind?

I’m supposed to obey it when it tells me to flee a perfectly fine party?
To suspect a random new friend I just met?
My gut takes two plus two and comes up with
“Fear. Flee. Leave. Get out. Hate.”
“Protect yourself before it’s too late.”
Or whatever other wildly off-base equivalents
It can shovel into the engine

Worst of all, it spends half of its time
Hurling abuse at a mirror
That I foolishly lent it decades ago

I don’t trust my gut

Every now and then I give it a bone
And a pat on the head
And say “That’s nice.”

I’m jealous of other people’s guts
Those unerring, precise, hyper-intelligent clairvoyant psychics
That I hear about
Masters of deduction
That have never disappointed their owners

If you can always trust your gut,
You have my envy and admiration

(But my gut says not to trust you)

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2023 - 14/30 - Boredom

2023-06-06T18:52:45Z

What a gift boredom is
What an opportunity for exploration
What a mirror
What an uncomfortable lonely spur
What a small panic
When escape is not possible
A kind of involuntary meditation
Whatever form that takes

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