WHOOPS! Who wants to see Shane Koyczan?

I have two tickets to Shane Koyczan at the Vancouver East Cultural Center for Saturday night. I have a Halloween party to go to with my brother that night.

Anyone want some Shane Koyczan tickets?

It's going to be an incredible show.

Let me know stat if you're interested soon before I open up the offer to a wider audience. : )

Cheers.


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Knowledge Killer

I’m leaning up against the Tree of Knowledge. My back is getting sticky from the blood trickling down its ancient trunk. There’s a knife wound in its bark that’s gushing freely. The blood is many colours.

One lick and I’d know much more than I already do. I’m not even tempted. Die, tree, die.

I grab the knife I used to stab the tree and use it to skin another golden apple for a snack. The tree is shaking softly in its death throes. Its leaves are falling off.

It’s been a long ten years getting to this place.

Getting this knife, for instance, took six of those years. Its blue metal will cut through anything, including thick magic. It’s one of the only things that can skin golden apples. This one I’m skinning is my last one.

The Tree has many defenses that it could employ. Illusions, fields of force, mind-clouding, etc. None of them can stand up to me and the equipment I have with me.

The Tree’s last defense is to Se-Seed. This means that it removes itself from time and randomly floats free of temporal anchors. It’s very hard to track if it does this.

Unless you have a compass made from the wood of its branches. It took me another two years to get that.

And no one can see the Tree unless they have a wooden eye made from the root of the tree. I have one. It took me another year to get it.

I still remember putting the hot points of a sharpened elvish fork into my own left eye and stuffing the wooden one in there while the socket was still warm.

This new eye can only see the tree and the tree only. No illusions or mind-clouding can stop it from seeing where the tree truly is.

The map, now, that was surprising. That only took six months. I found a market seller who traded it to me for five years of my life and my six weakest hopes. He didn’t even know what it was.

So now my quest is over.

I’m sitting here up on top of Mole Hill underneath a darkening sunset sky. I’m not sure where in time I am anymore. The tree tried to time-jump when I stabbed it with the blue blade but I hung on tight and went with it.

The Tree is dying now and my left eye is going dark with it. I pull out my compass and it’s spinning wildly, no longer sure of where to point. It won’t be long now.

I have no idea where in time I am. I smell sulfur in the air and I can see white lines high in the sky.

I pull out my ration pack and lay a slice of unicorn jerky over a chunk of the golden apple and eat it thoughtfully.

Stupidity will reign. My job here is done. I smile. I wonder what’ll happen next?




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