Haiku Deathmatch

The Haiku Death Match last night was incredible. Really, really fun times. The new winner is Fernando Riguera who ended up facing off against last year's winner, Chris Gilpin, in a nail-biting tension-fueled finish with lots of laughs.

I made it to the third round, knocking out Johnny Macrae and Shannon Rayne, both of whom fought valiantly, before losing to last year's winner Chris Gilpin in the second-to-last round. Not too shabby. I should have done more comedy, though. It was mostly about the funny.

Here are the ten haiku poems I ended up reading:

You break my heart, love.
Every day. Because my
Dad would have liked you

My skin is too big
Like a child attempting to
wear his father’s suit

Love is blind because
I held the fucker down and
Cut out both its eyes

Come and get me, babe.
In the old days, witches were
Tested by dunkin’. (For those who don't know, my name is Duncan.)

I am so in love
The light from hate would take light
Years to reach me here.

When we first met, our
Seventy year old selves re
cognized each other

Pharmaceutical
Companies know cancer is
A growth industry

I am a downer
Sand paper on the bat pole
I apologize

What I learned on sum-
mer vacation: It’s hard to
fuck in a hammock.

You are Medusa
Every time you look at me
I become rock hard

So there you go. A great night. Already looking forward to the next one. Cheers!