Poem a Day for April - 9

It’s a lipstick cliffhanger.

Women watch this world. They’re witnesses to the insanity of men.

The ones we can’t discredit, we buy. The ones we can’t buy have accidents.

Charlie don’t surf and Barbie don’t read. Women’s curves make them into round numbers.

Men run around mistaking enthusiasm for immaturity and bullying for ambition.

If a woman challenges a man mentally, he feels mentally challenged and takes appropriate action.

Women run from tree to tree, catching men before they hit the ground.

Sometimes, though. Sometimes they just watch.

Women have a certain ‘joie de vivre’. Men have a certain ‘joie de mort’.

At a stoplight yesterday, I saw some big, strong men in a pickup truck yelling and laughing at some beautiful women crossing the street. They kept their heads down. The men thought it was hilarious. I said nothing because it looked like they would kick my ass and I felt ashamed.

My father’s advice to me when I was a heartbroken teen was to get a string of girls going so that if one of them left, I wouldn’t be bothered.

Don’t phone ‘er with a boner. Penis erectus non compos mentis.
To learn everything you need to know about men, watch a jousting match.

Women are forced to be devious to avoid beatings and then they are beaten for being devious.

I don’t know how women get out of bed in the morning sometimes.

I ask the universe if things will ever get better.

I’ll have to trim the beard I grow while waiting for an answer.





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