3 Sonnets Regarding a Man From Nantucket

A man once came from a small, local town
Nantucket was the name of this township
And he was known (and cause) for much renown
Because of the appendage at his hip
A trouser snake of such impressive size
That all who claimed to see it were amazed
That when erect it came up past his eyes
Although the loss of blood would leave him dazed
It’s said he could fellate himself with ease
And if his ear were but a bearded clam
He’d turn his head and twice himself he’d please
He heard and thought “Is this all that I am?”
For eloquence had he when e’er he spoke
It hurt to be the punchline to a joke

For Todd McManus was the fellow’s name
Although no note in history would show
It hurts to have a certain kind of fame
To be the butt of famous jokes and know
He founded towns and authored novels well
Amended laws and raised nine children too
He built an orphanage where waifs could dwell
And yet his accolades were numbered few
All because by accident of birth
His member was what was so recognized
It’s frankly freakish awkward length and girth
At times he cursed a penis thusly sized
He was not a simple limerick
He was so much more than just his dick

He could have toured with PT Barnum if
The offered contract from him he had signed
He could have seen the world being stiff
But offers like this one he all declined
If fame he craved, he wished it came from him
From lives he changed for better with his mind
But history’s cruel pen, with twisted whim
Determined that to him, ‘twould be unkind
So Todd became the dirty, catchy poem
That now each grade-school giggler recites
Though such debasing insults were below him
It ruined his days and gave him sleepless nights
So think of Todd McManus on this day
And think of different limericks to say



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