red horse

[skonen_blades]

I pulled a horse out of my mouth yesterday.
It was bright red and sad.
A sorrowful beast so full of heaviness and rain that it had turned candy apple muscle.
It looked skinned.
Or painted by a child.
The process was like a birth
I unhinged my suddenly snake jaws to make it happen.
It cries in my kitchen now
Whinnying with such passionate, chugging sobs
Snot dripping freely from its muzzle
More sadness than horse
Listening to the rain outside
Communing with a depth of emotion I can’t fathom
For if I go too deep into that ocean I lose my way
in the darkness and the pressure
Not knowing which way is up
or home
I’ve been blind for years
As this pregnancy grew
This blockage in my throat
This red buck of paralyzing depression
Feeling a magnetic pull to beds
and not talking
I pet the horses damp mane but
An oar of happiness in an ocean of weeping doesn’t make a difference
I don’t know what to do about the horse
And my family will be home soon



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