what to do
7 April 2019 20:17![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skonen_bladesWhat to do when your child asks when Earth’s temperature will get back to normal:
1. Croon an old song from the fifties in the hopes that you’ll start a distracting singalong. If you want to go more contemporary that’s up to you.
2. Beg for forgiveness. Curl up. Weep. Maybe she’ll be confused and move on to a different subject.
3. Show her every post-apocalyptic film ever made. Instill a love of the genre in their hearts. Encourage them to take archery and swordplay and firearm training when they’re old enough. Get them to start a sustenance garden on their windowsill. Buy a book on which fungi are edible in your area.
4. Say “Everything will be fine in a few years. Don’t worry.” and then bit your knuckle to keep from screaming.
5. Offer them ice cream. It’s amazing. They’ll forget what they were even talking about.
6. Tell them to invest in sunscreen companies. When they ask what ‘invest’ means. Tell them it’s about making a bet on a financially stable market future. Then have a deep think on that and refer to #2 or #5 or.....
7. Offer yourself ice cream. It’s amazing. I’m telling you, the salt of your tears barely alters the taste.
8. Remind them that living in the downtown core of a desirable city with high property values and strategic importance means that when the missiles fly, you won’t even notice when you’re evaporated in the atomic blast. It’s freeing.
9. Denial. Pretend you didn’t hear. Then actually believe you didn’t hear.
10. Point to the recycling bin, the compost and the second-hand clothing in an effort show your child that you’re doing what you can. Explain that you don’t eat meat as often as you used to. Let them know that that next car is going to be electric, for sure this time. Explain why you bicycle more. Do all this to show them you tried to be less culpable. That it’s not your fault. Don’t tell them that such actions are nothing in the face of the large scale deforestation, the toxic production waste products, and the rising carbon emissions. Let hope be the last thing to die.
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1. Croon an old song from the fifties in the hopes that you’ll start a distracting singalong. If you want to go more contemporary that’s up to you.
2. Beg for forgiveness. Curl up. Weep. Maybe she’ll be confused and move on to a different subject.
3. Show her every post-apocalyptic film ever made. Instill a love of the genre in their hearts. Encourage them to take archery and swordplay and firearm training when they’re old enough. Get them to start a sustenance garden on their windowsill. Buy a book on which fungi are edible in your area.
4. Say “Everything will be fine in a few years. Don’t worry.” and then bit your knuckle to keep from screaming.
5. Offer them ice cream. It’s amazing. They’ll forget what they were even talking about.
6. Tell them to invest in sunscreen companies. When they ask what ‘invest’ means. Tell them it’s about making a bet on a financially stable market future. Then have a deep think on that and refer to #2 or #5 or.....
7. Offer yourself ice cream. It’s amazing. I’m telling you, the salt of your tears barely alters the taste.
8. Remind them that living in the downtown core of a desirable city with high property values and strategic importance means that when the missiles fly, you won’t even notice when you’re evaporated in the atomic blast. It’s freeing.
9. Denial. Pretend you didn’t hear. Then actually believe you didn’t hear.
10. Point to the recycling bin, the compost and the second-hand clothing in an effort show your child that you’re doing what you can. Explain that you don’t eat meat as often as you used to. Let them know that that next car is going to be electric, for sure this time. Explain why you bicycle more. Do all this to show them you tried to be less culpable. That it’s not your fault. Don’t tell them that such actions are nothing in the face of the large scale deforestation, the toxic production waste products, and the rising carbon emissions. Let hope be the last thing to die.
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