skonen_blades: (dark)
[personal profile] skonen_blades
Please, please, PLEASE click on the words Burning Safari and watch this film. I laughed a lot. It's beautiful. It's from the french Gobelins animation school.

Burning Safari

Pee Wee’s playhouse is going to be aired again on the cartoon network. I watched Proof today starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Jake Gyllenhaal. Not the best movie ever. A lot of angsty arguments. I also watched Welcome to the Dollhouse finally. That was a dark little piece of work but it’s also refreshingly honest. Being a teenager is so intense. Intensely boring, intensely depressing, intensely violent, and all this crazy horniness coursing through it as well. It’s alive in a way that I really would never want to go through again. Maybe that’s only because these days I have the capability to be exhausted. I sure didn’t back then. I’ve been going a little crazy today. I was invited to go out to the beach and have a lovely picnic with Jhayne and Sam and some other friends but I just couldn’t get up the gumption to leave the house. I stayed in my house coat until four and had a nap. Don’t get me wrong. I practiced my piano, did some driving school research, did lots of laundry and got a fair chunk of my taxes sorted out as well as watching those two films. It wasn’t a lazy day but I do really feel like I missed out on experiencing a lovely outdoor Sunday. These are the Sundays where I don’t miss Scotland at all. This is Vancouver at its best. Just leaving the apartment seemed like it was going to be such a challenge, though. I feel like I’m going crazy when I feel like that.
Is it true of the human condition, do you think, to be always on the horns of a dilemma? Well, maybe not a dilemma, but standing at a crossroads? I have all these options. I’m paralyzed by them. I’ve always struggled but now I’m in a good place where I have a lot of time and money to do the things I want to do. I feel quite constrained as a result.
Plus I’m newly fatherless and the posters and advertisements for father’s day are starting to suffocate me.
But this is getting too dark. I was attempting to make myself happier but its not working. I’ll get the rest of my taxes down and try maybe calling someone or taking a walk. Hey I do feel better after all. It’s getting dark out.



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