I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for justice?

[skonen_blades]

Please, please, PLEASE click on the words Burning Safari and watch this film. I laughed a lot. It's beautiful. It's from the french Gobelins animation school.

Burning Safari

Pee Wee’s playhouse is going to be aired again on the cartoon network. I watched Proof today starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Jake Gyllenhaal. Not the best movie ever. A lot of angsty arguments. I also watched Welcome to the Dollhouse finally. That was a dark little piece of work but it’s also refreshingly honest. Being a teenager is so intense. Intensely boring, intensely depressing, intensely violent, and all this crazy horniness coursing through it as well. It’s alive in a way that I really would never want to go through again. Maybe that’s only because these days I have the capability to be exhausted. I sure didn’t back then. I’ve been going a little crazy today. I was invited to go out to the beach and have a lovely picnic with Jhayne and Sam and some other friends but I just couldn’t get up the gumption to leave the house. I stayed in my house coat until four and had a nap. Don’t get me wrong. I practiced my piano, did some driving school research, did lots of laundry and got a fair chunk of my taxes sorted out as well as watching those two films. It wasn’t a lazy day but I do really feel like I missed out on experiencing a lovely outdoor Sunday. These are the Sundays where I don’t miss Scotland at all. This is Vancouver at its best. Just leaving the apartment seemed like it was going to be such a challenge, though. I feel like I’m going crazy when I feel like that.
Is it true of the human condition, do you think, to be always on the horns of a dilemma? Well, maybe not a dilemma, but standing at a crossroads? I have all these options. I’m paralyzed by them. I’ve always struggled but now I’m in a good place where I have a lot of time and money to do the things I want to do. I feel quite constrained as a result.
Plus I’m newly fatherless and the posters and advertisements for father’s day are starting to suffocate me.
But this is getting too dark. I was attempting to make myself happier but its not working. I’ll get the rest of my taxes down and try maybe calling someone or taking a walk. Hey I do feel better after all. It’s getting dark out.



toe

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

It's okay. Hang in there. You didn't waste your day.

[toren-atkinson.livejournal.com]

I didn't know you played piano.
I hope you're feeling better!

[skonen-blades.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. Feeling way better. I took a lot of piano as a kid but after a succession of LAME teachers after my first good one left town, I packed it in. There's been a musical hole in my life ever since and I figured it was time to do something about that. I'm in about my third month of lessons now, learning chord theory and Happy Birthday and the like. I'm not about to bust out the Mario Brothers theme song anytime soon but it's a goal. Along with Tom Waits' Christmas Card from a Hooker in a Minneapolis and the Monty Python drinking song. And the Monty Python Penis song. And When I was Seventeen. Well, there's a long list of stuff I'm chomping at the bit to memorize and be good at. I think I'm at a place in my life where I actually have the patience to take the time it's going to take to get there.