skonen_blades: (gasface)
2006-09-04

It’s a day like any other. Waiting for contact. I alternate between feeling ridiculous, angry and bored. I scan the printouts. Nothing. I have nothing but time in a lonely paradise.

There comes a time in every life when a person realizes that ‘this’ could be it. You can be having a coffee on a street corner because you have an hour to kill. You’ve called a couple of friends but it’s three o clock in the afternoon on a Friday and your friends that you could call up at a moment’s notice all have day jobs. So you sit there by yourself. There’s a break in your digital life. Your laptop’s at home. The blackberry is silent. You can’t think of anyone else to call. You sit outside on the patio on the corner at a coffee shop watching the city’s biology go by.

There are smokers out there with you but it doesn’t bother you today. It’s like your life is a record on a turntable and someone just lifted the needle up. The record’s still turning but for now, there is silence. You feel unattached from everything you’ve built and are controlled by. The light reflects off of your sunglasses.

In the midst of the cars and colours, there’s a symmetry. You’ve heard of chaos theory and fractal geometry. All you really got out of it is that there is a pattern to nature. A mappable but totally unpredictable uniformity. Tree branches. The network of veins in your own body. No two fir trees are exactly alike but they’re all the same. It’s the same with the motion of rivers. That’s what you’re watching. A river of humanity walk in front of you.

You watch people not bump into each other. You wonder if it works the same with electrons and planets. Accidents happen but for the most part, particles and planets stay out of each other’s way.


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skonen_blades: (hmm)
They say that light is both a particle and a wave.
This makes for some pretty crazy theoretical equations. I mean, as I understand it, it’s impossible for light to be a wave and a particle at the same time but there it is. Right up there with bumblebees not being able to fly and us all being 99.9999% not actually here because of the huge amount of straight up nothing between an atom’s nucleus and the spinning electron casing. Nothing that really influences our day to day life but a little unsettling nonetheless. I remember someone saying that scientists had found little particles that actually skipped back in time by like a millionth of a second when they looked at them.
Which meant that the particles tried to avoid being looked at by appearing in front of the scientists a little before they were going to be looked at. Maybe that’s just my understanding of it.
It reminds me that sometimes the best way to ‘tail’ someone (according to the movies) is to walk in front of them. Use the glass around you to see their position. Hide in plain sight. You always look behind you to see if you’re being followed. It wouldn’t occur to you that the person in front of you is the tail.
I also remember that according to us, the earth’s rotation is ‘out’ by a few seconds a year. Such arrogance.
I remember that veins, ivy, and tree roots are all based on similar fractal equations. The clouds of Jupiter and cigarette smoke are all based on similar fractal equations. The results all look the same but they’re impossible to predict accurately.

I remember one of my favourite quotes from Mandelbrot.
He said "Science would be ruined if (like sports) it were to put competition above everything else, and if it were to clarify the rules of competition by withdrawing entirely into narrowly defined specialties. The rare scholars who are nomads-by-choice are essential to the intellectual welfare of the settled disciplines."
I think that particular statement applies to a lot more than scientists. I think it applies to humanity.

Cases in point.

They say that light is both a particle and a wave.
I wonder if it’s the same with people’s morality.
We are at the same time our good selves and our bad selves. We co-exist with ourselves. We have choices and therefore an inherent duality. We are a particle.
We become bad when we do bad things and we become good when we do good things. If good is a crest and bad is a valley, then we are also a wave.
Like Schroedinger’s cat, we are ‘both’ until the choice is made. Until we act. Until we are observed. Until we are judged.
We are all possible people.


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