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Fun Slows Us Down
5 August 2008 12:46It’s the pin-striped skin.
What works as camouflage on their world stands out on ours. They’re roughly humanoid in appearance. That makes it a little easier. Some of our teenagers have been getting full-body tattoos to look like them. Idiots.
The aliens from Karnasis have sixty tiny, bright-pink eyes spaced around their heads like seeds on a strawberry. That creeps out every single human on the planet. And the eyes are spaced randomly, differing from Karnian to Karnian like Rorschach blots, like a paintbrush-flick of glittering pink nail polish. It’s how they recognize each other. They have thick, furred hides like zebras.
The other disturbing thing is that they’re a very direct race with no sense of downtime or relaxation. Their evolutionary path seems to have lasted about ten thousand years compared to our millions. If this keeps up, they’ll ‘pass’ us on the evolutionary race track sometime in the next few centuries. We’ve made friends with them because of this.
They have no art.
They have five-partner sexual relationships that we’re still trying to figure out. There are encyclopedias about the ‘non-mating versus viably fertile’ hookups between the five sexes that contribute to social strata and caste system etiquette that are byzantine. There seems to be no enjoyment in the sex they get up to.
There are some long-term strategies for dealing with the eventuality that there might be a battle between our races. Recently, however, there has been a new social trend popping up with them that gives us hope.
The Karnians are fascinated by the concept of ‘fun’. Laughter and playing are totally insane activities to them. They want to understand these things. They’re impressionable. It’s the young ones that are picking it up fastest. It’s a fad that is sweeping through the adolescents. They have ‘earth parties’ where the whole point is to ‘enjoy’ time without doing anything.
It’s a little creepy. They’re adopting all of the affectations of having a good time without actually having a good time. Their laughs sound recorded. Their rebellions seem empty.
They’re starting to have orgies but all they’re doing is robotically parroting the actions of porn films. It should be hot but it’s like watching mannequins get it on. Creepy and soulless.
If this trend catches on, though, it could slow down their whole society to our speed. By teaching them to relax and have fun, we could quadruple the time it would take them to surpass us in terms of developing higher intelligence and cognitive skills.
Hopefully, all we’ll have to do is party with them for a few generations to stick a spoke in their evolutionary bicycle tire.
I’m going to one of their parties now. I’m bringing some Absinthe and the Kama Sutra. I’ll see what kind of trouble I can get into.
tags
What works as camouflage on their world stands out on ours. They’re roughly humanoid in appearance. That makes it a little easier. Some of our teenagers have been getting full-body tattoos to look like them. Idiots.
The aliens from Karnasis have sixty tiny, bright-pink eyes spaced around their heads like seeds on a strawberry. That creeps out every single human on the planet. And the eyes are spaced randomly, differing from Karnian to Karnian like Rorschach blots, like a paintbrush-flick of glittering pink nail polish. It’s how they recognize each other. They have thick, furred hides like zebras.
The other disturbing thing is that they’re a very direct race with no sense of downtime or relaxation. Their evolutionary path seems to have lasted about ten thousand years compared to our millions. If this keeps up, they’ll ‘pass’ us on the evolutionary race track sometime in the next few centuries. We’ve made friends with them because of this.
They have no art.
They have five-partner sexual relationships that we’re still trying to figure out. There are encyclopedias about the ‘non-mating versus viably fertile’ hookups between the five sexes that contribute to social strata and caste system etiquette that are byzantine. There seems to be no enjoyment in the sex they get up to.
There are some long-term strategies for dealing with the eventuality that there might be a battle between our races. Recently, however, there has been a new social trend popping up with them that gives us hope.
The Karnians are fascinated by the concept of ‘fun’. Laughter and playing are totally insane activities to them. They want to understand these things. They’re impressionable. It’s the young ones that are picking it up fastest. It’s a fad that is sweeping through the adolescents. They have ‘earth parties’ where the whole point is to ‘enjoy’ time without doing anything.
It’s a little creepy. They’re adopting all of the affectations of having a good time without actually having a good time. Their laughs sound recorded. Their rebellions seem empty.
They’re starting to have orgies but all they’re doing is robotically parroting the actions of porn films. It should be hot but it’s like watching mannequins get it on. Creepy and soulless.
If this trend catches on, though, it could slow down their whole society to our speed. By teaching them to relax and have fun, we could quadruple the time it would take them to surpass us in terms of developing higher intelligence and cognitive skills.
Hopefully, all we’ll have to do is party with them for a few generations to stick a spoke in their evolutionary bicycle tire.
I’m going to one of their parties now. I’m bringing some Absinthe and the Kama Sutra. I’ll see what kind of trouble I can get into.
tags
