Dress Rehearsal
30 March 2008 21:23Laughter followed us up out of the dream. Out of that sewer. Each syllable was like a sharpened jigsaw puzzle piece looking to fit under skin. A stench of cotton candy wafted up from the hole. To this day, I stay away from anything with sugar in it. The taste of sweet things brings the episode back strong.
It was a flood in a shoestore. She held me close and we jumped out of the plane and into moral oblivion. The joke of my life started with ‘guy walks into a bar’. It’s not over yet but it’s hilarious as long as I can afford to keep telling it.
I used to sell tires. I can’t find anything in my fridge. I might get evicted soon. Even the way the light is glinting off the buildings is making me think of her.
Every soft edge I see or feel makes me think of her curves. Every pillow, every tin can, every curving train track, every cloud, every time a child hugs a pet.
Every angle makes me think of her broken bones. Her body down there on the sidewalk, forty-two floors below, making a human swastika of splayed limbs. The shout of red like a flicked paintbrush onto the street bringing home the fact that we are so very fragile.
Increasingly, I see this life as a dress rehearsal.
tags
It was a flood in a shoestore. She held me close and we jumped out of the plane and into moral oblivion. The joke of my life started with ‘guy walks into a bar’. It’s not over yet but it’s hilarious as long as I can afford to keep telling it.
I used to sell tires. I can’t find anything in my fridge. I might get evicted soon. Even the way the light is glinting off the buildings is making me think of her.
Every soft edge I see or feel makes me think of her curves. Every pillow, every tin can, every curving train track, every cloud, every time a child hugs a pet.
Every angle makes me think of her broken bones. Her body down there on the sidewalk, forty-two floors below, making a human swastika of splayed limbs. The shout of red like a flicked paintbrush onto the street bringing home the fact that we are so very fragile.
Increasingly, I see this life as a dress rehearsal.
tags
Oh god how I miss Max Headroom.
The laughter follows me all the way to work and hovers over my construction helmet like a halo as I pound the rivets home. It’s hot out today. I can’t see out of the building. I’m sweating like a pig in this record breaking summer installing air conditioning in this half finished building. The irony is not lost on me.
I remember the laughter.
I can’t stop remembering the laughter.
After work I go for cold beers with the guys. All that matters is that the beers are cold. For once, getting drunk doesn’t matter. Just to have something cold inside me is all I need. My skin is acting like a hot blanket on a summer night. It’s insulating my internal organs when there’s no need. I wish I could spill them out in a freezer full of ice for a few minutes and then put them back in. The cold beer will have to do. It splashes around and waterfalls down into my stomach and helps a bit. I press the cool glass against my forehead and listen for the laughter.
It’s gone for the time being but it’s hovering. Waiting in the dimple of the waitress. Hesitantly riding an undercurrent in that woman on table 13. I can sense it like psychics can tell where the body is.
We’re all making it home tonight.
I've had a wonderful day today. I went to the Peace March, a goth barbeque, all you can eat sushi and I got a sunburn. Nice. A west coast Saturday if ever there was one.
tags
The laughter follows me all the way to work and hovers over my construction helmet like a halo as I pound the rivets home. It’s hot out today. I can’t see out of the building. I’m sweating like a pig in this record breaking summer installing air conditioning in this half finished building. The irony is not lost on me.
I remember the laughter.
I can’t stop remembering the laughter.
After work I go for cold beers with the guys. All that matters is that the beers are cold. For once, getting drunk doesn’t matter. Just to have something cold inside me is all I need. My skin is acting like a hot blanket on a summer night. It’s insulating my internal organs when there’s no need. I wish I could spill them out in a freezer full of ice for a few minutes and then put them back in. The cold beer will have to do. It splashes around and waterfalls down into my stomach and helps a bit. I press the cool glass against my forehead and listen for the laughter.
It’s gone for the time being but it’s hovering. Waiting in the dimple of the waitress. Hesitantly riding an undercurrent in that woman on table 13. I can sense it like psychics can tell where the body is.
We’re all making it home tonight.
I've had a wonderful day today. I went to the Peace March, a goth barbeque, all you can eat sushi and I got a sunburn. Nice. A west coast Saturday if ever there was one.
tags