Hench, Inc.
29 October 2007 15:18Bad guys need henchpeople. We provide that service.
Here at Hench, Inc., we have a cloning facility that will provide all of your henchperson needs. We have over sixteen models to choose from!
By combining hair colour, body configuration, skin type, sex and intelligence level, the choices are virtually infinite!
We can breed them docile or fierce. We can breed them intelligent or simple. We even have a special on second-in-command models for the next six months! You can pick up Number 2tms at a price you can afford.
Theme packages are available year-round. Do you want sexy leopard-print female-gymnast weapons experts to fulfill your every whim? No problem. Do you want muscle-bound giant wrestlers to tear your opponents limb from limb? We can do that. Do you want faceless lycra-clad obedient eunuchs to rush out and pile onto the ‘good’ guys? Sure thing.
We’re here for you.
Pay for the best. Ignore the rest. Forget hiring mercenaries. They can be bought out by opposing forces. Forget contractors. They overcharge. You don’t need the headaches of ‘real’ people on your side when you’re up against a deadline and a tight budget.
We’re ideal for the maniacal super-villain who is just starting out. If you have a final vestige of conscience that’s still bothering you, you needn’t worry about sending wave after wave of your henchpeople into enemy fire to be cut to pieces.
Have our Scientist Modelstm build your super-powered weapon destroyer while you plan further domination plans. Don’t waste time on manual labour. We know how back-breaking slavery can slow down a plan to take over the world. Let us handle it!
Spinal neckstack explosives and clinical conditioning insure obedience with no pesky free will or self-determination to get in the way. No need to worry if you’re not a ‘people person’. These servants will not rebel.
Even if you’d rather go animal or mechanical, we have prototypes in place to fulfill those needs.
We can even have backup copies of you ready for revival in the unlikely event that something goes wrong and you are damaged or killed.
You’re the king of the world here at Hench, Inc. We aim to please.
Make an appointment to see our cloning facility at your earliest convenience. Send for our free catalogue today! Demonstrations available upon request!
tags
Here at Hench, Inc., we have a cloning facility that will provide all of your henchperson needs. We have over sixteen models to choose from!
By combining hair colour, body configuration, skin type, sex and intelligence level, the choices are virtually infinite!
We can breed them docile or fierce. We can breed them intelligent or simple. We even have a special on second-in-command models for the next six months! You can pick up Number 2tms at a price you can afford.
Theme packages are available year-round. Do you want sexy leopard-print female-gymnast weapons experts to fulfill your every whim? No problem. Do you want muscle-bound giant wrestlers to tear your opponents limb from limb? We can do that. Do you want faceless lycra-clad obedient eunuchs to rush out and pile onto the ‘good’ guys? Sure thing.
We’re here for you.
Pay for the best. Ignore the rest. Forget hiring mercenaries. They can be bought out by opposing forces. Forget contractors. They overcharge. You don’t need the headaches of ‘real’ people on your side when you’re up against a deadline and a tight budget.
We’re ideal for the maniacal super-villain who is just starting out. If you have a final vestige of conscience that’s still bothering you, you needn’t worry about sending wave after wave of your henchpeople into enemy fire to be cut to pieces.
Have our Scientist Modelstm build your super-powered weapon destroyer while you plan further domination plans. Don’t waste time on manual labour. We know how back-breaking slavery can slow down a plan to take over the world. Let us handle it!
Spinal neckstack explosives and clinical conditioning insure obedience with no pesky free will or self-determination to get in the way. No need to worry if you’re not a ‘people person’. These servants will not rebel.
Even if you’d rather go animal or mechanical, we have prototypes in place to fulfill those needs.
We can even have backup copies of you ready for revival in the unlikely event that something goes wrong and you are damaged or killed.
You’re the king of the world here at Hench, Inc. We aim to please.
Make an appointment to see our cloning facility at your earliest convenience. Send for our free catalogue today! Demonstrations available upon request!
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