skonen_blades: (blurg)
We didn’t realize until it was too late. Too much trust in the universal translators.

The aliens had been checked out and studied, we thought. In terms of physiology and self-awareness, they were a good match. Myself, Janine and Roger were the first contact team assigned to touch down on Cyan-3. With all of our combined experience, we nearly had an entire alphabet of abbreviations after our names. We thought we were so smart.

See, the thing is that cultural contamination needs to be kept to an absolute minimum. We touch down with objectives and then we lift off. A small exchange of knowledge with the promise of more and the away we go. Baby steps. This is something that works both ways.

We had no idea something as simple as a name could screw it all up.

The Cyanots were quadrupedal with hand tentacles instead of hooves but they had faces quite like ours. More eyes and the mouth was up top but it was easy to see surprise, fear, anger, wonder, and happiness. The basics. All of our dealings so far had been an exchange of math between our computers. They seemed on par with us but hadn’t yet built anything bigger than satellites.

We stepped out of our shuttle underneath the bright orange sky of Cyan. The air had a slight blue mist to it making the shafts of light from our landing gear stand out. The Cyanot contingent stepped forward. There were six of them

Janine was her bubbly self, barely contained excitement at the prospect of first contact. Roger was his usual cool self, always retreating inwards in times of stress. Myself, I was tired. I’d done twenty-six of these. We looked at each other and we made introductions. I motioned for the lead Cyanot to go first.

Its deep voice sounded out and our translators kicked in. “I am Shenerade. This is Shenerade. I am accompanied by Shenerade and Shenerade.” It motioned to the other Cyanots around it.

Maybe a family? That would account for the same name. “I’m Warren” I said. “This is Janine, and this is Roger. We are from Earth. A planet like yours but far away. Why do you all have the same name?”

The Cyanots looked are our translators and then each other, confused. Almost like we’d done something rude.

The first one’s whinnying, glottal voice came back to us through the translator. “I am Siscorn. This is Siscorn. I am accompanied by Siscorn and Siscorn.”

Something in the back of my head flared up. This was wrong but I hadn’t guessed the depth of it.

Proud and angry, the lead Cyanot took a step towards me and brought its head up in what looked like a challenge. The others were still confused. “I am Torsh. This is Siscorn. I am accompanied by Siscorn and Siscorn.”

Then the one near the back fixated all of its eyes on Janine. Janine smiled and cocked her head. The Cyanot mimicked her astonishingly well. “I am Janine,” it said.

We all looked at it. The lead Cyanot looked at me and adopted a stance of fatigue and worry mixed with old age and professional scorn. It was me, I realized too late. “I am Warren.” It said.

Roger spoke up “We have to get back to the ship. NOW.”

“I am Roger. We need to get away from the humans. NOW. Something has gone wrong. I am Roger.” Said one of the other Cyanots.

We backed away from each other. We got on our ship and left. The Cyanot watched us go.

The Cyanot have no names. They only have terms for states of being. When they are jealous, they become jealousy. They ARE jealousy. When they are mad, they become anger. They ARE anger. Shenerade was polite pride. Siscorn was confusion. Torsh meant to be an angry leader demanding answers. When we introduced our selves as three different states that they’d never heard of, they didn’t understand what we were saying. Later, we found out that they had seventy-six states of being.

Now they had 79. Seventy-six simple states of existence and three complex, layered, human imprints. Unknowingly, we had just introduced three new ‘moods’ into their society based on our personalities. The broadcast had been shown to the entire planet on their version of live television. There was no escape. Every Cyanot was now capable of being Roger, Janine or Warren. My weary gruffness, Janine’s charming sly smile and Roger’s all-business jaw clench people the planet instantly.

It was the biggest cultural contamination screw up of my career.




tags
skonen_blades: (gasface)
This particular first contact was confusing. All the aliens seemed to have the same name. At first we thought the translators were broken but it appeared that the aliens, thrilled at meeting another alien race, were all named Cruff. They looked at us through their many yellow eyes and wide smiles with different lengths of green hair.

It was awkward.

In a radio transmission, they’d referred to their own race as the Kursk. So we knew they weren’t referring to their race.

When we introduced ourselves, it was like they didn’t know if they should be insulted or confused. Their smiles fell. They blinked a lot. They checked their translators like we did.

Then when re-introduced ourselves, the confused ones said their name was Jart. The two that seemed offended referred to themselves haughtily as Pronto and looked at the ground.

The Kursk had a notion that all emotions and physical states were vast, invisible beings. And that to experience an emotion or physical state was to become an appendage of that emotion or physical state. They believed they were merely extensions and that each of those vast, invisible beings had a name.

The joy of discovery was called Cruff. When a Kursk experienced the joy of discovery, that Kursk’s name became Cruff. Confusion was called Jart. Being offended was called Pronto.

They had different names depending on their physical or emotional state.

Angry people were called Tarno but then when they become happy, they were called Shret. The names were applicable all across three of their sexes.

They had six hundred and eight-seven names. As their society progressed and became more complex, a new name was added now and then. The last time that happened was a hundred years before we met them. They were very peaceful.

They had math and so they had numbers for each citizen to keep track of them in terms of any needed bureaucracy. Personal Identity Numbers to keep the wheels of commerce and retirement and birth records going. In many respects, they were like humans.

What happened was a tragedy. We’d taken precautions against any sort of biological or technological contamination. We’d even limited their access to our records so that they wouldn’t find out the finer points of war or the more distasteful chapters of our history.

But names. We didn’t think of the names.

We contaminated them. They had six hundred names. We have millions. In their culture, a new name was a big deal. They hadn't had a new name in ten years.

Now they had too many. It introduced a fracture into their society. In a mad rush to assimilate what they could from our culture, they innocently copied over nine hundred thousand names before we barred access to our records. We didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late.

They couldn’t agree on the finer points of the new names and what they signified. They demanded to meet people with the names they were unfamiliar with. We refused.

It plunged their society into chaos. It exposed them to an emotional complexity within a month that should have taken centuries to develop. We feel pretty guilty.

We basically introduced nine hundred thousand giant, invisible beings into their society with no idea how to define them. It might as well have been an invasion.

We are orbiting the planet now. Soon we will leave and classify this planet as off limits except to qualified personnel.

We’ve done enough damage here.




tags
skonen_blades: (Default)
It's like going to a superhero convention or something. I go to a party these days and it's not uncommon to hear conversations like these.

1: Hey I'm John.
2: Hey John, I'm Angela. You know, Dem0nWingz?
1: Oh HEEY, Dem0nWingz. Dang. Right on. Nice to see you in the flesh.
2: Yeah, you too. You're StarJammer, right?
1: No. He's over there.
(1 indicates boy standing on other side of the room)
2: Oh.
1: Yeah.
2: So you're....
1: Mangleur
2: Hmm.
1: Yeah.
(embarassed pause)

It's like we all have secret identities and then POW we become superheroes. It was this picture that tipped it all off. Roll over it to get some of our alter egos. What superpowers would we all have?

Suggestions?

toe
skonen_blades: (dead)
I saw a girl today with the name Soixic. I thought it looked eastern European which would lead me to believe that it would be pronounced so-IT-sick. But no. She said it's prounced swah-sees. Like soixante in french. I love it.
I saw a girl in LA once with a very Mayan looking face in a burger shop and the name tag on her shirt said Xaoxara. I love it.
I saw a girl a couple of weeks ago with the name tag Mania. She said it was pronounced ma-NEE-ah but still. Mania for a name. Maybe I posted about that before. I love it.
My middle name is Magnus. How cool is that?
I opened an account at the video store a long time when I worked there for a man named Ronald Silley. I laughed and said "Silley? Boy, you probably got made fun of a lot for that, eh?"
I looked up in the cold dead eyes of a man who has never laughed boring into my own.
"Yes." he said.
I opened his account without further comment. Mr. Silley was one of the most serious people I have ever met. I love it.
I did not see his friends Mr. Scribble or Mr. Tickle.
I have a friend named Liberty. He's great and his name suits him.
I met a guy named Beef once. Like for real. Like on his birth certificate.
My name is Duncan.
What's yours?

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