skonen_blades: (whysure)
weird (wîrd)

adj., weird·er, weird·est.
Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural.
Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange.
Archaic. Of or relating to fate or the Fates.
n.

One's assigned lot or fortune, especially when evil.
often Weird Greek & Roman Mythology. One of the Fates.
tr. & intr.v., weird·ed, weird·ing, weirds.
Slang. To experience or cause to experience an odd, unusual, and sometimes uneasy sensation. Often used with 'out'.

[Middle English werde, fate, having power to control fate, from Old English wyrd, fate.]

The modern sense of weird developed from M.E. use of weird sisters for the three fates or Norns (in Gmc. mythology), the goddesses who controlled human destiny. They were usually portrayed as odd or frightening in appearance, as in "Macbeth," which led to the adj. meaning "odd-looking, uncanny," first recorded 1815.

I saw Weird Al in concert for the first time on Friday Night at the River Rock Casino. I took my friend Sam as a birthday present. It’s a good, intimate venue. Just under a thousand seats and each one is a decent view. If a favourite artist of yours is coming there, I recommend purchasing a ticket. The lineup of performers is actually pretty varied. Mostly old school but decent.

The show was incredible. Just over two hours, at least a dozen costume changes (including the band) and three completely spontaneous standing ovations from the biggest collection of geeks and misfits I’ve seen in one place since I attended the San Diego Comic Con a few years back. I can really let my metaphorical hair down amongst these unmet brothers and sisters of mine. It’s great.

The band was tight. They were all older men and I’m assuming that they’re the guys that have been with Al from the beginning. Al even donned the full-body prosthetic for the song BAD as a final song.

He’s a smart, funny man and he is loved. It occurred to me while watching him that there is a joie de vivre in his music that’s almost cosmically jester-driven. Songs like Dare to Be Stupid have a very serious message. He is aggressively pointless. The audience leapt to its feet after the end of one long song composed entirely of gibberish. He did a Bob Dylan parody song comprised solely of palindromes.

He is the one the legends spoke of.

There is a theory that art and music came from the boredom that we earned for ourselves once we improved our pack hunting skills and gained some ‘down time’ as a reward. Just sitting around was unfulfilling to minds hardwired for fighting, having sex, running away, or sleeping. When a safe place had been found, food had been eaten, a lot of sex had been had and one had slept enough, there was nothing to do but just hang out.

Retelling stories of the hunt, adding sound effects and props, drawing pictures of the highlights on the wall of the cave, all of these things completely had no point other than to give an outlet to our constant need to do something.

Each and every one of us has rats running inside giant wheels in our minds. There is no peace.

Weird Al Yankovic tells us to celebrate that and to not take it seriously. He is absurd in a completely necessary way.

It was an honour and a privilege to see him perform. He jumped around like a twenty-year-old, doing chorus-line kicks that brought the kneecap of his straight leg up to his nose. He seemed genuinely happy to be performing to a sold-out concert that the MC before the show described as “one of the fastest-selling shows that the River Rock has ever put on”. It didn’t occur to me until today that Al must be getting close to fifty if he isn’t older.

He is unique.

He is ridiculous.

He is Weird.

All hail.



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skonen_blades: (hmm)
In every movie there is a group of bad guys. In every group of bad guys, there is a freak.

An albino who’s good with knives. Some guy with a facial scar and a sour disposition who’s an excellent marksman. A red haired woman with a wicked smile who wields a mean whip. A six-fingered swordsman. A guy dressed in an immaculate white suit who has the chilling eyes of a snake and no morals. The giant with long hair.

If movies were video games, these aberrations would be the second-to-last boss.

Weird lieutenants who lack the ambition and charisma to lead the pack but love the power to be sadistic without punishment. Fears and tears are the only things that make these borderline people happy. They are extensions of shadows that carry out orders without question and wait in the meantime. They are unfocussed spirits of revenge. They wait eternally for the fires that rage within them to go out. They wait eternally for the ice within them to thaw.

They barely speak.

When not killing people, they’re killing time.

Inside, they’re begging for death. They long for a hero to come along and best them. They need someone to be better than them and beat them in a one on one fight.

I am that weird lieutenant.

I am standing over the body of a plucky young hero. His girlfriend is dying in the rain behind me. I am standing on the roof of a warehouse.

It’s Chicago. The year is 1938. I’m half Indian and blind in one eye. My jade-handled switchblade is being washed clean of their blood by the rain. They call me Jade because of my signature weapon. They also call me Jade because of the ignorant mistaken belief that I am half-Oriental because of the shape of my eyes. I don’t correct that assumption very often. Keeps my origin ‘shrouded in mystery’.

They also call me Jade because that’s a girl’s name and sexually, I prefer little boys.

They’d never admit that to my face but I hear it from my victims sometimes in their last desperate moments.

Machine guns are just starting to be used at street level but I still prefer to use the knife. People fear me. I know it won’t be long before someone shoots me. Before someone brings a gun to a knife-fight.

I’ve killed thousands and I don’t discriminate. I am a tool of fear for my boss as much as my blade is a tool for me.

The brassy young man lying dead at my feet had promise. I sigh and head back down the fire escape.


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