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skonen_blades(To be sung loudly, possibly while drunk and dressed in a military uniform, most likely late at night, with incredible gusto on the last three syllables of each line. Wake up the sleepers. Celebrate life. Pretend you've been a journalist for a while in some war-torn country and maybe this is one of those group effort songs that makes you all laugh your heads off and drink more shots of whatever.)
Oh, Grandma drove a truck and she ate CORNED BEEF HASH
She paid for everything she ate in COLD HARD CASH
And when she passed away it was a BIG CAR CRASH
Oh, Grandma drove a truck and she ate CORNED BEEF HASH
Oh, Grandma loved the men. She had a WOO-DEN LEG
She’d take the men to bed and then she’d MAKE THEM BEG
And every Thursday she would drink a HALF A KEG
Oh, Grandma loved the men. She had a WOO-DEN LEG
Oh, Grandma worked on fighter planes in WORLD WAR TWO
She fixed the broken engines and the PLANES THEY FLEW
And once she punched a captain. He was BLACK AND BLUE
Oh, Grandma worked on fighter planes in WORLD WAR TWO
Oh, Grandma used to hunt and she would BRING HOME MEAT
She hunted with a knife and in her BIG BARE FEET
And Christmas dinner at her house could NOT BE BEAT
Oh, Grandma used to hunt and she would BRING HOME MEAT
Oh, Grandma married money. She liked OLD RICH MEN
She’d fuck them all to death and then she’d WED A-GAIN
And when the last one went it was an E-VEN TEN
Oh, Grandma married money. She liked OLD RICH MEN
Oh, Grandma played accordion and SANG REAL LOUD
She loved to hear the people sing so MAKE HER PROUD
And sing along with me, I mean the WHOLE DAMN CROWD
Oh, Grandma played accordion and SANG REAL LOUD
Hip hip HOORAY!
Hip hip HOORAY!
Hip hip HOORAY!
(repeat as necessary to make the police arrive.)
tags
Oh, Grandma drove a truck and she ate CORNED BEEF HASH
She paid for everything she ate in COLD HARD CASH
And when she passed away it was a BIG CAR CRASH
Oh, Grandma drove a truck and she ate CORNED BEEF HASH
Oh, Grandma loved the men. She had a WOO-DEN LEG
She’d take the men to bed and then she’d MAKE THEM BEG
And every Thursday she would drink a HALF A KEG
Oh, Grandma loved the men. She had a WOO-DEN LEG
Oh, Grandma worked on fighter planes in WORLD WAR TWO
She fixed the broken engines and the PLANES THEY FLEW
And once she punched a captain. He was BLACK AND BLUE
Oh, Grandma worked on fighter planes in WORLD WAR TWO
Oh, Grandma used to hunt and she would BRING HOME MEAT
She hunted with a knife and in her BIG BARE FEET
And Christmas dinner at her house could NOT BE BEAT
Oh, Grandma used to hunt and she would BRING HOME MEAT
Oh, Grandma married money. She liked OLD RICH MEN
She’d fuck them all to death and then she’d WED A-GAIN
And when the last one went it was an E-VEN TEN
Oh, Grandma married money. She liked OLD RICH MEN
Oh, Grandma played accordion and SANG REAL LOUD
She loved to hear the people sing so MAKE HER PROUD
And sing along with me, I mean the WHOLE DAMN CROWD
Oh, Grandma played accordion and SANG REAL LOUD
Hip hip HOORAY!
Hip hip HOORAY!
Hip hip HOORAY!
(repeat as necessary to make the police arrive.)
tags
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no subject
Date: 14 Feb 2008 07:42 (UTC)no subject
Date: 14 Feb 2008 08:15 (UTC)no subject
Date: 14 Feb 2008 08:08 (UTC)no subject
Date: 14 Feb 2008 08:15 (UTC)off of Rain Dogs
Date: 14 Feb 2008 08:25 (UTC)Uncle vernon, uncle vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He’s a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
Plays accordion for mr. weiss
Uncle biltmore and uncle william
Made a million during world war two
But they’re tightwads and they’re cheapskates
And they’ll never give a dime to you
Auntie mame has gone insane
She lives in the doorway of an old hotel
And the radio is playing opera
All she ever says is "go to hell"
Uncle violet flew as a pilot
And there ain’t no pretty girls in france
Now he runs a tiny little bookie joint
They say he never keeps it in his pants
Uncle bill will never leave a will
And the tumor is as big as an egg
He has a mistress, she’s puerto rican
And I heard she has a wooden leg
Uncle phil can’t live without his pills
He has emphysema and he’s almost blind
And we must find out where the money is
Get it now before he loses his mind
Uncle vernon, uncle vernon, independent as a hog on ice
He’s a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion for mr. weiss
Cemetery Polka
Re: off of Rain Dogs
Date: 14 Feb 2008 09:01 (UTC)no subject
Date: 14 Feb 2008 09:02 (UTC)Jonny Vancouver
Date: 14 Feb 2008 10:23 (UTC)Hysterical.
Re: Jonny Vancouver
Date: 14 Feb 2008 18:48 (UTC)I love that you love the dog bit. : )