Hey there! This is a neat little slice-of-life story from the point of view of a guy who has five clones join his high school. See how it all goes down. What do you think would happen?
I could definitely read more of that story. I mean, hell...what about the Mom? Is she the host? What were their personalities like? How did they kiss? Perhaps you will answer these questions in a novel someday. But I do hope you fix the typo in the first line, at any rate. :-)
I know! It's HORRIBLE! Everybody's LAUGHING AT YOU! You suck!!
Honestly, I used to think text morphed after I posted it -- now I know it takes a read-out-loud to catch these things. I no longer trust my too-forgiving inner editor, but let my lips do the walking.
That's a good idea. I proofread these before I send them in, I swear I do. The 'the/they' thing is something that trips me up a lot. One of those things my brain doesn't notice when I skim it.
no subject
Date: 19 Jan 2009 15:56 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Jan 2009 17:47 (UTC)Glad you liked the story, though.
no subject
Date: 19 Jan 2009 18:07 (UTC)Honestly, I used to think text morphed after I posted it -- now I know it takes a read-out-loud to catch these things. I no longer trust my too-forgiving inner editor, but let my lips do the walking.
no subject
Date: 19 Jan 2009 18:20 (UTC)no subject
Date: 19 Jan 2009 18:26 (UTC)Of course, nobody really cares except us perfectionists. Your vision was transmitted effectively, and that's all that counts.