Old Joke

[skonen_blades]

My second poem last night was an old joke I told in rhyme.

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A husband drank beyond his fill
and then upon his shirt was ill
He weaved home to an angry wife
Who filled both of his ears with strife
For she would have to wash the shirt
Her feelings did the husband hurt

The next night at the bar he shrinks
from friends who offer him more drinks
When he says no they ask him why
He tells him that he'd rather die
That risk more anger from his girl
His crafty friends give him a pearl:

"If you have drank beyond your fill
Take a fifty dollar bill
And keep it for your safe return
For when your wife gets all concerned
Mention that the puke's not yours
And then you mention furthermore:

The gentleman who puked on me
Gave me fifty dollars, see?
For dry cleaning the puked-on shirt.
And then your wife will be less curt
For dry-cleaning your puked-on vest
Will cost ten dollars, maybe less.

And forty dollars to your missus
Will mollify her angry disses"
The husband thinks the plan is sound
and so he orders one more round
And drinks and drinks like all the rest
Until he's sick upon his chest.

And returns to his lady fair
who's angry when he arrives there
Before she starts, he yells out "Wait!
I'm sorry that I'm home so late
But check it out! The barf's not mine!
And hey I have a tale divine."

He slowly pulled out money there
and gave it to his lady fair
"A dude was sick on me, for real.
He felt bad so he made a deal.
Fifty dollars he proffered.
For dry cleaning and I concurred."

Skeptical but wondering
the wife considered laundering
She looked down at the large, brown bill
and looked up with a little thrill
"A hundred?" she asked with a glance.

He said, "He also shit my pants."




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Comments

[monkeypudding.livejournal.com]

I hope you won with this!

[skonen-blades.livejournal.com]

2nd place. It was Angus's night all the way. He won by a full point.