skonen_blades

The silly goose is wild.

The chase for meaning through whimsy is the most important one of all. There is no name for this pursuit. It should be up there with science, art and religion. The laugh track to enlightenment, the tension breaker, the communal language surpasser that brings us all together is the only reason to be here. Or at least the most valuable one. The chase for the silly goose is what gives validity to our lives and by that I mean it makes it enjoyable. And by that I mean it makes it tolerable.

Anyone can build. Anyone can destroy. The seeming pointlessness of laughter and the ability to generate laughter in others masks a much deeper and necessary wave of the best humanity has to offer. It’s more than just a break from the monotonous slide show of life. It’s more than a way to escape the worries of your bills, deadlines, mortality or love life. It’s a way to tap into the reasons for existence. It’s the hard left that can bring genius to research and get love going again.

Every court needs a jester. Raven, Loki, Puck, Eris, Prometheus, Coyote, Hermes, Mercurius, Eshu, Anansi, Monkey, Leprechaun, Set, Renard the Fox, Kokopelli, Tanuki, Iktomi, Bugs Bunny, Charlie Chaplin’s Little Tramp, Pippi Longstocking, the Joker, and again and again and again.

The clown that plays the subservient in order to entertain is stooping to conquer. It’s an act. The jester was the only person that was allowed to make fun of the king without fear of execution. Such is the power of the harlequin. It isn’t saying ‘fuck it’ with no knowledge of how terrible the consequences might be. It’s diving in knowing the stakes while completely disregarding them.

It’s dependent on wit without armour and tactics without brute strength. It’s beyond a survival or defense mechanism. It’s a mastery mechanism. As one laughs, one lowers one’s shield.

It’s not rooted in innocence thought it may seem like it. Its beauty does not lie in its innocence though it may seem like it.

The people that seem to take nothing seriously are the ones that see how serious the world is.

In case you haven’t heard it, there is a joke about a psychiatrist treating an exceptionally sad patient. The psychiatrist has tried everything but cannot get through to this patient. In a stroke of brilliance, he says “Hey! The great clown Pagliacchi is in town this month. You should go see him. He will cheer you up. He cheers everyone up.”

The patient says “But doctor, I AM Pagliacchi.”

The tears of a clown. The chase for meaning through whimsy can be profane and sacred at the same time unlike anything else. It’s the only church that’s necessary. It is the great equalizer. It exposes leaders as common people and the common people as universal. It breaks rules and gets applause. Comedy is given less credit and that’s just fine. The only way to keep its power secret is to exist under society like a carpet.

Then someone can pull that carpet out from under all of us.

So chase the goose. It is wild so that you can be. It is silly so that you can be.

The chase for meaning through whimsy is the most important one of all.






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Being a stand-up comic is hard but I was the best.

I won the reality show votes on International Comedy Idol and I became the world champion stand-up. Jim Carrey ate my dust. George Carlin took notes. Robin Williams stopped doing comedy and devoted himself to drama. Janeane Garofalo threw her panties at me. Bill Cosby retired. Steven Wright went into cardiac arrest. Eddie Izzard hung himself.

My jokes translated into other languages well. Roberto Benigni cried with joy at my antics.

It was time to take my act on the road. The true challenge. The Galaxy Circuit.

The axioms of a joke can change but there are universal variables that can be plugged into any joke. For instance:

Earth, specifically Vancouver:

What do Surrey kids get for Christmas? Langley kids’ bicycles.

Corcarroway – 5, outside the Crab Belt Nebulae, Fifth Moon

What do broodlings from the Orion Arm Nebulae get for Snabutal? Kursk Moon larvae’s flindars.

Earth, specifically LA

What does a Compton girl put behind her ears to pick up men? Her legs.

Danrrrr’kisk - backscratch, 2 AU up from Ursa’s Fang:

What does an upper atmosphere Kar-calon put behind her wing-udders to attract a mate? Her mandibular feeler trunk.

Earth:

Guy walks into his girlfriend’s room with a duck under his arm and says “This is the pig I’ve been fucking.”
His girlfriend says “That’s not a pig.”
The guy says “I was talking to the duck.”

Jandar Prime:

The fertilizing agent of the tri-bond walks into the sleep charnik with a snackler under each arm. He broadcasts “These are the wetpounds I’ve been floogling.”
The two egg carriers broadcast in unified confusion “Those aren’t wetpounds.”
The fertilizing agent of the tri-bond says, “I was talking to the snacklers.”

You see what I’m saying?

All of my jokes are old lemons based around silly, insulting plays on words and for the most part, they’re jokes based on the ‘bad part of town’ or the ‘next planet over that every one agrees sucks compared to this one’. Turns out that’s not just an Earth thing.

At least, that’s what I thought until today.

Taking pre-show notes, I asked the compere a few questions so that I could get some names and places to slip into my act.

“What’s the bad part of town here?” I asked.

“There is no bad part of town.” He replied through his nose flute.

“What section of your populace is looked down on?” I asked, thinking the compere had maybe misunderstood.

“There is none.” He replied happily.

I could see from his eyes that it was true. There had been a vibe ever since I’d gotten here that I couldn’t put my finger on and that was it. Mutual planetwide respect.

“How much does it cost to buy a house here?” I asked.



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I like her. She's very intelligent. When I talk to her, it makes me think. So I suppose that's why I said to her,"When I'm around you, I feel mentally challenged."

Thank you.

Just wanted to write that down.

That was the joke.


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