To Beat Back Life

[skonen_blades]

To beat back life
To beat back the unending attack of it
Its unrelenting erosion and push
Its addiction to shaking you awake
To giving you lessons fast and hard before you're ready because if you were ready they wouldn't be lessons
But to beat it back
Once and for all
In some holy orgasm of effort
Not in the ceaseless parrying of the thousands of small cuts, cat scratches, and knife swipes.
Not in the take-a-deep-breath-here-we-go-again sandpaper dodging
Not in learning to laugh at the broken noses from the stepped-on rakes hiding in tall grass
Not in becoming accustomed to the sidewalks that suddenly become diving boards
But to swerve to the top of the wave and stay there
That's the dream
The myth?
The idea
The solid spasm that will bring you to the top
The pyramid's point
The pinnacle
And keep you there
I think I'm old enough to know that the shortcut is to do the work
And that lottery winners are usually poor or dead in a few years
But I still dream of that holy key
That stupid carrot to my moronically optimistic mule of a soul
That will let the grind end
Because I don't feel like I am being sharpened
Or smoothed
I feel like I'm disappearing


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